Wedding Planning - ON PAUSE
It's been 5 months since Rady and I have gotten engaged. The last few months have been very exciting. I can't stop thinking our future, the home we are about to buy, the wedding we were enthusiastically ready to plan, & obviously I can't stop looking at my ring. I'm not sure what it is about women and a new rock, but it's like it automatically sets us off, (I blame the media and society for this one lol) I have become the energizer bunny on crack.
So here I am , with a new shiny ring on my finger and I dive straight into planning mode. I'm setting dates, creating invite lists, looking for venues, scouting photographers, literally everything. And above all, I'm super excited to share it all on my blog and have you guys on this journey with me. It is such an exciting rush for me.
It's wedding event after wedding event.
I'm picking out pantone colors and considering themes for the wedding, the bridal shower, and the engagement party. I'm listing out who I want as bridesmaids, who I want to shoot all my images, how I was going to record it all.
then one day, I kinda just dawned on me...
What is the rush? and more importantly.. why am I rushing this?...
Am I rushing for every person who's commented on my 6 year relationship with Rady and thinks we're long overdue for marriage? Is it so that people can stop telling me..
"It's about time you two get married"
"we don't know what took so long"
"When's the date for the wedding?"
"Are you staying in NY?"
"How many people are you inviting?"
"What's your dress going to look like?"
"do you plan to have kids?"
"Remember not to wait too long"
It was alot
I love to think that we live in this mega progressive world where a man and woman don't have to define their relationship with marriage and that there isn't this invisible pressure on women to marry the perfect man and have the perfect wedding and live the perfect life. But reality can get pretty shitty sometimes & while the outside world can think Rady and I have this romantically-perfect relationship, trust me when I say, we don't. Just ask him about my shopping habits and mood swings. lol.
I wish I could say the pressure came from an older generation, but it's actually quite the contrary (well..most of the time). Friends, cousins, and even co-workers are commenting on my life and how I need to prepare for the future of marriage.
And I get it, people are naturally curious, concerned, want to help and they're excited. But their curiosity was unknowingly the most irritating thing to me. Keeping smiles and grace in the midst of any wedding talk became a full time job. And I hate feeling like that. Especially with something that's supposed to be so special and memorable.
But I think because those around me have been waiting for this day since foreverrrrr (especially my mom) lol, their excitement and willingness to start planning my wedding got a bit cray cray. Their excitement is not a BAD THING AT ALL, but it's definitely a lot of emotions at once. I love feeling so loved and supported by my family and friends, but I think it added to the pressure of making the perfect wedding... More for them.. less for us.
So for now, we're taking the summer off to just enjoy each other's company.
No wedding talk, no fittings, no sample reviews, no wedding events.
I get to have the love of my life with me everyday, and right now we want to create memorable moments that we can capture in non-digital ways.
Just for us.
Thank you for reading. We will start the planning back up again and hopefully I won't feel so overwhelmed with it all. I really do love you guys. Thank you for everyone who sends me messages and nothing but well wishes. You guys are everything.
Bibi & Rady