Week 2.

I'm really happy to be publishing my second post in a row with no delays, stalling, or excuses.  (I'm spending the weekend in Jersey with family, and it's nice to be able to bring my laptop with me everywhere I go.)

 Some professional bloggers they may call my one-post-a-week mediocre and lazy, but working full-time and blogging full time can really take a toll on you. Many of the bloggers I know blog full-time, but to the bloggers who work and blog full-time, I truly admire you. Cause this ain't easy.  

When I first launched my blog, I knew this was something I wanted to do for fun and I didn't really care if campaigns and brand collaborations came out of it. Granted, I didn't deny opportunities when they did start to happen (we all know I have paid posts on this site), but I knew to always remind myself to not get too caught up. This blog is meant to focus on fashion, beauty, travel, and lifestyle and that's how it will remain. So, if a sports brand contacted me on a paid campaign, I don't know if I'll want to jump on it. See, I know this blogging industry  well and I can see how a paycheck can influence a blogger to do things that are not true their own brand. But if I started promoting Skinny Tea, you'd all look at me like I was crazy!? And it's not because every other blogger is already doing it, but because I'm constantly snap-chatting pizza, McDonalds, and ALL types of unhealthy food your way... There'd be a disconnect that'd be blatantly obvious... 

I always start these posts on Saturday's and I finish them on that same Saturday. I free-write what is on my brain and sometimes I feel like I don't make any sense. What these posts have given me is the freedom to just write whatever I'm thinking. And thankfully, I've been thinking a lot more. Imagine if there was nothing up there in the cerebro? Not good... Lol (for my non-spanish speaking readers, cerebro = brain)

I didn't really set any goals for myself this year. Mainly to focus on seeing things in a more positive light. Things, sometimes don't plan out the way we had hoped. No matter how hard we work or how long we worked, there are thing it's just not in the stars for us. Accepting this truth can be by far one of the most difficult things to do...at least for me it is. There was a lot I wanted accomplished by the time I reached 25, and it wasn't until I got there that I realized, time had run out. I got to the quarter mark of my life and felt like I had little to show for it. Yes, I graduated college, had a good job, had a steady blog and social media following, but there was a part of me that could only focus on the things I DIDN'T accomplish. Why do I not have more in my savings? Why didn't I grow professional relationships with my college professors? Why didn't I have a license to drive yet? My focus wasn't on everything I had accomplished, but on all the small opportunities that could've played a bigger picture and maybe given me that higher GPA, that better PR internships, way more reliable connections. Life isn't supposed to be easy I guess, and TRUST me, I know how incredibly lucky I am that these are the things I worry about. Things can always be worse.... way worse.

Sometimes I feel there is this constant expectation that I MUST do the absolute best in everything. I push myself improve my photography, my editing, my style, knowledge on all the trends, my writing. am i reading enough? networking enough? Is it ever enough.. There's always a need for me live up to my own expectations; which I tend to set real high.. Can't tell if it's healthy for me, or if it's the root of my anxiety.  

When I re-read my posts right before they go live, I think of only two things. They say a alot and nothing at the same time. Guess I'm still working on the "personal" part of these posts..

Ugh, this is where I'll end it. My cousin just put on Ghost Adventures and now I need a blankie. 


See you all next week. Love you.